If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
