but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
