I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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