i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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