a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Two words: nipple clamps
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