This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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