All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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