You're so nebulous sometimes
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
operation harelip BJ is a go
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
