I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
