The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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