That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
