I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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