Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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