So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just invented taco cereal.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
