Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
