Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
