these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
