after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just found puke in my bra..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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