This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize