Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
