evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
