If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
