Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
