i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
