I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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