her vagine was all disorganized.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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