I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i think i just lost a toe
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
