Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
