Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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