Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
