party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
