I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think I sprained my soul last night
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
