his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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