My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
