She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
