so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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