i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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