Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
