At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize