btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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