Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
