Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
