I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
