I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
