Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
sex in a hospital.. check
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
