I have demons in me.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
