You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
