I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Green mimosas i think yes
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
