Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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