I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
