dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
