she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
