reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
