Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
