Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
