He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
