I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
