I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
