she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
