Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
