people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
