i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
