Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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