i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
