You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
