I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
